A woman's will must always be respected. This was the walk away lesson from an amazing event that I had the good fortune of speaking at in Brooklyn, NY this past weekend. The YWCHC is my favorite NYC community coalition and one that my own non-profit TruthAIDS has been supporting and collaborating with for over a year. I spoke at their first annual health summit last year and was blown away at the dialogue and exchange. Issues of domestic violence were bubbling from the girls so TruthAIDS jointly sponsored an event that was a follow-up to the obvious need to heal and speak about these issues. One of the TruthAIDS Directors, Sarah Lewis, who is spearheading the Expressive Rights programming for TruthAIDS, led the follow-up conversation with the girls. The girls loved Sarah and she loved them. It was a memorable evening for all.
This summit was no different, just bigger. There were over 150 young women in attendance and 54 of them got HIV tested. Go YWCHC. At the end of the summit, a peer education hip-hop theater group called THEO gave an amazing performance about the complicated realities of child sexual abuse in the family. There is nothing like art to communicate about the difficult situations in life that take you beyond words.
I interviewed many of the girls and took some pictures that I will soon post. However, I walked away from the event thinking deeply about a young women's will. It's amazing how often young women find themselves in situations where no does not mean no. Beyond the atrocities of physical assault and rape that cannot be talked about enough, there is the land of emotional abuse which insidiously and deeply penetrates all spheres of a young women's life. No means no here too. Yet, the world is often hell bent on convincing a young women why someone else's desires/will is best for her and her visions for her life. As one of the girls I interviewed put it..." sometimes being nice enough to listen to somebody is all it takes for them to think they can do whatever they want." Therein lies the tragedy. Being nice enough to listen is what we should all do for each other. Being nice is not the problem. It's not listening and being selfish enough to do it your way anyway. Keep your heads up ladies... where there is a will, there is a way.
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I have great respect for TruthAIDS' mission to elevate the voices of women with AIDS in search of solutions. As a doctor at Bellevue, I have been amazed at the healing power of frank conversations and compassionate care of women with AIDS who have been the victims of abuse. Like a musician, you cannot know the vast positive effects of what you do when you reach out in this way, with a gentle hand to suffering, a fearless look at abuse, and building a community so no one feels alone. Keep this conversation rolling, Mehret, and dare mercy.
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